just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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