I have demons in me.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
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its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
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I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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