btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
