Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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