Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
