remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize