did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
