i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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