Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
