Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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