Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize