My room smells like vodka and shame
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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