so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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