We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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