Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
