Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
