I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize