i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize