I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
