you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
