It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
