I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
