Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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