i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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