There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
