Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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