Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
