I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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