dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
