i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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