Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
