I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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