I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
