If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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