this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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