I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
