hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
