Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
