Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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