real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
