so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize