Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We need to get me chipped asap
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
