some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
