My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
