no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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