Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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