Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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