Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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