I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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