i will never coherently bang her
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
