You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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