She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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