I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
