She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
