ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
