i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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