i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
