In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
