It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
