I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
