i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
