I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
