i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
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My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
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I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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