when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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