Cold hands, warm shart.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
