STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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