But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
