paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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