oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
How external is "for external use only"?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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